I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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