I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
