I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
