the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
