I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
whose parrot is this?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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