is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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