He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
