im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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