Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
