Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
