don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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