its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
