I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Someone came in the potted fern
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
