Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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