oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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