Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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