Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize