I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
