Acid is not a monday night drug
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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