i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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