Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
