I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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