I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
