dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
