she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
