Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
