Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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