My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
