So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
