Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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