Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
NoShamevember. You game?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
