Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
40s are totally the cure
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
