I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
