i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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