I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
