eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
whose parrot is this?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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