So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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