Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
