just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
