Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize