i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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