im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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