He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
