this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
