nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
