hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How naked do you want me to be?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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