Yo dont text me then not text me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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