She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize