You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
