Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
