u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
