Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
