wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
