When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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