This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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