I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
