highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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