I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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