Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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