he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
