Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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