Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
