The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
