My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
